"Important Years": What should be done before 30 years

Psychologist Meg Jay wrote about how important it is to pay attention to everything, what you are doing at the age of twenty to thirty years:

To find a good job

In a period of twenty to thirty years, most (like myself at the time) remain out of work. As a result, they either find an occupation that does not meet the qualifications or work at part-time. Sometimes it becomes a temporary solution: allows you to pay bills, while we, for example, are preparing to pass the test for admission to the Graduate Management or undergoing training there. However, the work does not meet the level of qualification is not always a means to an end. Sometimes it is simply a way to do nothing - as in the case management of ski lifts or participation in musical groups that a friend of mine named top manager "eternal groups."

If, after receiving a university degree in a person's resume too obscure records on work in the retail trade or in a cafe, it is suggestive of its degradation. This kind of activity can have a negative impact not only on the job, but also throughout life. Studies show that if a person during the entire nine months of busy work that does not match his qualifications, he may have higher levels of depression and lower motivation than that of their peers - even those who do not have work.

Economists and sociologists agree that the work at the age of twenty to thirty years, has an extremely strong influence on career development in the long term. About two-thirds of the wage increase falls on the first ten years of professional activity. No matter how safely passed this period, those who started a career rather late and will not be able to catch up began to move up the career ladder before. As a result, many people have thirty or forty years, there is a feeling that they have paid too high a price for that casual work, for which were taken in the early twenties.

To go beyond party

The young men of twenty to thirty years, only limited social circle of like-minded peers. Some maintain constant contact with the same people. Our friends can come to the rescue when we are ill, but the ones with whom we hardly know, are able to quickly and radically change our lives for the better.

In the ten years before the appearance of Facebook social scientist, Stanford University professor Mark Granovetter conducted the first and most famous study of social networks. Granovetter conducted a survey among the residents of the suburbs of Boston, recently changed jobs, and came to the conclusion that the most valuable in terms of the job search does not become close friends and family members, though, presumably, they had to have the most significant assistance. In contrast, three-quarters of cases, the new work has been found thanks to information received from the people with whom respondents saw rarely or occasionally.

When I advise young people twenty years to use the power of weak ties, I often meet strong resistance from their side. "I love making useful contacts," "I'll want to find a job," or "it's not my style" - is their typical reaction. I accept this point of view, but still, when we look for a new job, or the second half, or the possibility of another kind, it is the people with whom we hardly know, we are able to radically change the situation for the better. Everything new is almost always comes from outside our inner circle.

When you ask people that maintain a gentle bond, give you advice, make suggestions, get to know someone or to conduct well-designed informational interview, I recommend sticking to the same approach: arouse interest in himself. Demonstrate your value. Spend the necessary preparatory work in order to know exactly what you need or what you aspire to. And then politely ask for it. Some of those to whom you have requested, refused. However, many will agree to perform it.

Cease to be in with Facebook

You are very surprised to learn how many hours a week I listen to talk about on Facebook. Many of my clients feel that their life in the form in which they served it to Facebook, every day someone evaluates and discusses. They are reluctant to admit that they spend a lot of time on the network, posting photos and comments over and over again looking at them, trying to see their Facebook page such as seen by others. They think that because they come only. But in fact they are not alone.

For many of Facebook - not so much a search tool friends as the ability to track information about them. According to studies, the average Facebook users spend more time on the pages of other users than to create their own content. The most active participants of social networks (most often it is the girls who post photos and videos, as well as monitor the status updates) use them for social observation. These lovers of social investigations not only establish or maintain contact with friends as watching someone's life. The presence on Facebook turns into a struggle for popularity when getting "Like" - that's all that matters is to be the best - the only decent option, but the appearance is more important partners of their actions. As a result, the social network is another habitat, but not for life, and to create the appearance of life.

Most young people after twenty smart enough to not to compare their lives with the lives of celebrities on their microblog. Nevertheless, they take pictures and posts on Facebook as something real. They do not understand that the majority of people simply hide their problems. This self-deception makes social networking users constantly compare their social status with some higher standards. As a result, they are not so much life looks perfect on the background of someone else failed, ostensibly wonderful.

Strike up a lasting relationship

Many of my clients more than twenty years, or do not take seriously a love relationship, or they think they do not need to do that. But about thirty years they suddenly, quite unexpectedly there is an urgent need for marriage.

It is well established that the marriage between the young people who have not reached the age of majority - the most unstable. Many were convinced of the reliability of the principle of "the later the better," but scientists have come to somewhat different conclusions. Recent studies show that marriage after twenty really prevent divorce, but this is true only up to the age of twenty-five years. After twenty-five to predict the likelihood of divorce is almost unreal.

At the age of twenty to thirty years can not be content with little and spend his youth on meaningless relationships that are unlikely to be successful. As is the case with the work, good relationships do not arise out of nowhere, when we will need it. It will take a few meaningful attempts to build them before really understand what love and commitment.